What Does It Mean To Be Neurodivergent?
Whether you’re neurodivergent yourself, a parent to neurodivergent children, or both like I am — I’m so glad you’re here.
In this first episode of Reframing Neurodiversity, we’re peeling back the layers of outdated stigmas and beliefs about neurodivergence in our schools, the workforce, and in society at large.
My mission is to get us all to think about our neurowiring in a new way. A way that embraces the individuality that exists within each of us, sees neurodiversity as a gift, and encourages us to be curious about how we all think differently.
So in this premier episode I’m sharing my neurodiversity journey, why I have compassion for everyone at the table here, and what we can do to support each other.
I cover topics like how it feels to be under the radar, slipping through the cracks in the school system as a bright child masking dyslexia and ADHD to keep up with the neurotypical environment. And what are the lasting effects from feeling like a square peg forced into a round hole in grade school and beyond?
I also share the exhaustion and heartbreak as a former teacher who wasn’t provided the tools or the education to show up for the neurodivergent kids in my classroom.
And I talk about the pain and frustration that comes with the role of advocating for my kids in a system that wasn’t designed for them.
It's really a dream come true to have a platform to discuss these issues that are so near and dear to my heart with you. And I'm just so grateful that you're here with me today and ready to support each other on our journeys.
How I’m Defining Neurodivergent and Neurotypical
Neurodiversity refers to the collective neurowiring as a whole. Each one of us has a unique brain, as unique as our fingerprints. Our neurowiring is unique to us. And within this sea of neurodiversity, we have a few different categories.
We have the umbrella of neurotypical brain wiring. Most of our systems are designed around this way of learning and thinking. The people who tend to do well in the school system and find that it works for them, not against them, are considered neurotypical.
Anyone who falls outside of that umbrella is considered neurodivergent. So this may be someone who is dyslexic, who has ADHD, who is autistic — any number of these different neurowirings.
Navigating a Neuronormative Society
We've all sort of rallied around this idea of normality in school, work, and society — that’s there’s a single right way to think. That being neurotypical is the normal, “good” way to be and if you don’t fall under that umbrella then there’s something that needs to be “fixed” about you.
But for me it's not about one way being better or worse or right or wrong; it's really about embracing the individuality that exists within each of us. There aren’t better or worse brains. Just different ones.
We're no longer living in a generation where we're trying to breed assembly line workers. Our school systems and workforces are based upon a time when we needed conformity. But today we live in a world where we want people who are creative, who think outside the box, who are going to generate unique solutions to unusual problems.
How to Create Neurodivergent-Friendly Environments that Work for All Kids
We can recognize this creativity later in life when entrepreneurs and thought leaders do amazing things, but what if we started supporting this unique perspective from a younger age?
The most current research on how to support neurodivergent kids suggests more flexibility, choice, individuality, hands on learning, and time outside. More opportunity to move, more opportunity to experience learning.
And the best part about it: all kids benefit from learning environments like this.
What It Was Like Being a Neurodivergent Kid in Grade School
My journey really started when I was about four. That’s when I first started becoming aware of how stressed I was.
My hair was falling out. I would have to go to the doctor before preschool and kindergarten to get cortisol injections into my bald spots. The only reasoning the doctor could determine because I seemed healthy was that it was stress.
The hair loss came and went throughout my grade school years, along with chronic stomach aches. The ones with the stabbing pains where I’d be like, there's no good reason for this, where's this coming from?
So school always felt like a very stressful place for me. I was in a constant state of fight or flight. Ultimately it felt like my best option was to get really good at the game of school.
I wasn't disruptive. I pulled it together just enough to be the kid that just sort of slipped through the cracks. I did enough to pass each grade. But I was having this experience that was manifesting internally that no one really understood. All of my energy was going towards flying under the radar so that nobody noticed me.
School slowly chipped away at my self esteem. The messages that I received during those formative years were that I wasn't smart. I was a little too slow. I didn't know what I should know.
It wasn’t until my freshman year of high school that I was diagnosed with ADHD.
How It Felt to Have ADHD
Looking back at my grade school years, I didn’t understand that I had difficulty regulating my attention.
I was distracted all the time. And I remember telling myself before going to school, “today, I'm going to concentrate. Today, I'm going to listen.”
And inevitably I would get to school and I would get distracted by my thoughts, by things in the room, anything. And when I would be called back to reality, I’d find I didn't know the directions. I didn't know what the teacher had just said. And if I was called on, I felt embarrassed because I didn't know the answer.
The only way my kid brain could interpret that at the time was that I must not be smart.
That was a really tough message to feel at that age. It impacted my self-esteem and my confidence on such a deep level that it's taken really active work later in life to de-condition those thoughts.
Being a Parent to Neurodivergent Children
When my own kids were old enough to start learning how to read, we noticed one of them was struggling. I was perplexed — she was incredibly bright from a very young age. Yet all of the tools I had in my toolbox from my career in education for teaching children how to read weren't working.
I approached the school and we started collaborating, but it became clear that none of the tools any of us had were working. We were left scratching our heads.
We're supposed to be the professionals in the field, we're the people who are trained to do this job, and yet none of us seem to have the answer.
It brought me back full-circle. I'm seeing my experience as a child reflected in my own child's experience. How is it possible that 30 years later we aren't in a different place in education?
This lit a fire in my belly to speak up, not just for my kid, not just for me and my family, but for every child who is sitting in a classroom, feeling the way I felt, feeling the way my kid felt. Someone needs to do something about this, and so I am.
Our Opportunity To Help Each Other and The Next Generation
Growing up I had been led to believe something was just wrong with me. And now I’m in a place where I can realize: the problem wasn’t within me. Maybe the problem was outside of me.
Maybe the problem was that the environment was not a match for the way I needed to receive information. Or it wasn't a match for the way I needed to show what I knew.
So as adults with this shared experience behind us, or as parents, or as teachers, we have this opportunity to understand how to create equitable learning environments. Ones that support different ways of learning, thinking, and being in the world. We can give more students the chance to reach their potentials.
And so I'm just so excited to be here with you as I make this podcast and holding this space to have these conversations. This is only the beginning. This season we have so many great guests coming on and I can't wait to share them with you.
More Topics We’ll Cover This Season
High sensitivity and neurodivergence
Emotional regulation
Breaking generational cycles
How do we write more strength-based goals for children instead of deficit-avoidant ones?
Executive function
How do we lean into what kids do best?
Let’s create equitable learning environments together. Here’s the equitable learning environments pamphlet that I mentioned at the end of the episode. You can share it with your child's teacher to support them as they create a learning environment that benefits all students.
Still curious about anything we mentioned today? I'd love to hear what's on your mind.
It's really a dream come true to have a platform to discuss these issues that are so near and dear to my heart with you. And I'm just so grateful that you're here with me today and ready to support each other on our journeys.
